Tales From the Farm, Part 2: Mystery in the Grass

In the story of Fancy, I mentioned that one learns some hard lessons early-on in life when one grows up on a farm. And many of these lessons centered around our animal friends. Although we had many different kinds of animals, we had more cats than anything. I think most "farm people" have a lot of cats (not indoor cats, but outdoor cats). Most of the time, this is an involuntary thing. We had more than our fair share of cats that would just show up and make themselves at home on our property. Then those cats would make kitty magic with other cats and voila....more cats. And thus the cycle begins and never ends. Luckily, we lived near a highway which acted as kitty "population control" if you catch my drift. We mourned many a wayward cat that saw its final moments in the headlights of an oncoming car.

So, I think it's fair to say that I have had a lot of experience with the complexities of the feline persona. I've heard their sweet purrs as I rubbed their bellies, laughed at them as they played with a dead shrew, and ooohed and ahhhed over them when they were kittens. I have also been scratched by them, bitten by them, and have watched them give birth....which was horrifying, by the way. We had one cat named "Mama Puss" who demonstrated the cat version of multiple personalities disorder by rubbing against our leg and purring one minute and then whacking us with a sharply clawed paw the next. We had another cat named "Maxine" who survived being hit by a car, as well as a serious brawl with a raccoon. She walked with a permanent limp...but she lived to be 23 years old. I kid you not. And we had a cat that was named "Pim-Wee", but my friend Stephanie thought it was "Pinwheel" because, well, Pinwheel makes more sense. And I didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise. We also had a cat named "Nate the Nightclub Owner". I won't go on.

You're probably thinking to yourself, "Oh, poor thing...she doesn't realize how crazy this all sounds". Um, yes I do. I realize I am uncovering at least 23 varieties of crazy by writing this series of posts. So, now that we've cleared that up, lets move on shall we??....

All of this has really just been the set-up for a story I am going to share that is what one might consider to be a traumatic childhood event. Now, I love animals. I really do. And for the most part, I like cats. But I have to admit, they have some fairly vile tendencies. For example, they tend to kill a variety of different rodents and leave them on your doorstep as "presents". And there is the whole "going to the bathroom in your house" thing too (well, indoor cats anyway). But perhaps the worst thing of all is a dark, dark secret of the cat world.....

One day, my brother and I were outside playing when we heard what sounded like a kitten meowing in some tall grass nearby. We started looking around to try to find it. Finally, we came across a kitten that was lying a few feet from its mother and three other kittens. But something wasn't quite right. After inspecting all angles of the kitten, we came to the conclusion that its body had been buried underground and just its head was exposed. Alarmed at such a sight, we immediately took action to try to dig the poor kitten out of the ground. In the midst of all the digging, I touched the kitten's head and, to our intense horror, the head rolled a few inches. And there was no body attached. It was just a cat head. Which subsequently exposed the dark secret of the cat world....cats sometimes eat their young.

I don't remember all the details following our appalling discovery. I'm pretty certain we ran screaming from the scene to tell my mom...who explained the whole "cats eat their young" phenomenon. Why cats do this is anyone's guess. Perhaps after giving birth they are too famished to wait for a proper meal or maybe they just decide they can only mother 3 kittens instead of 4, or they just get so fed up with the "trouble-maker" of the bunch that they simply can't tolerate its presence any longer. Who knows?!?

I understand that this disgusting activity is not limited to just cats. I know other animals do this too. But unless I see it first-hand, I'm going to pretend it's only cats. It just makes the world an easier place to live in. I'm sure you understand.

I apologize to all of you cat-owners out there. I know it will be difficult to see your cat in the same light after this story. But please don't be alarmed. As far as I know, they only eat their own young. So you and your children should be safe. But I wouldn't recommend going into the cat breeding business.

Love,

Brooke